Bottom of Bird Cage 3/12

It’s Day No. 71 of the year, and hooray to the men who wore 71 for the Chiefs over the years, including Ed Budde, along with Dave Lindstrom and Tom Barndt.

On March 12, 1955 Charlie Parker died in New York from pneumonia and a bleeding ulcer, which were all exacerbated by his drug and alcohol abuse. The Bird was just 34 years old. Despite the fact he never wanted to see his hometown again, Parker’s body was returned to Kansas City for burial.

And on March 12, 1987, famed Ohio State football coach Wayne Woodrow “Woody” Hayes passed away in Columbus. He was 74. Over his career with the Buckeyes he was 205-61-10, with five national championships. Woody was an irascible old bastard, even when he was still in his 30s. He left behind some of the great coaching lines in sports history:

  • “So many times I’ve found people smarter than I was … But you know what they couldn’t do? They couldn’t outwork me. They couldn’t outwork me!”
  • “Anything easy ain’t worth a damn!”
  • “To hell with exciting. I’d rather be drab as hell and win.”
  • When asked why he went for two despite a 36-point lead against arch-rival Michigan, Hayes quipped, “Because I couldn’t go for three.”
  • “Without winners, there wouldn’t even be any god damned civilization.”
  • “Football represents and embodies everything that’s great about this country, because the United States of America is built on winners, not losers or people who didn’t bother to play.”

Long live Woody.

From a New York Times story on former Denver RB Travis Henry:
The Denver Broncos gave Henry a five-year, $25 million contract in 2007. Cut last year by the team, which cited injuries and off-the-field commotion, he received only $6.7 million. Piling on to the child-support issues, Henry failed an N.F.L. drug test. He successfully appealed, avoiding suspension, but faced another penalty from the league for what he said was missing subsequent test dates. Though Henry insisted his body has three more seasons in it, his quandary all but dooms any chance of his suiting up again.

Henry is seeking to modify child-support obligations. Some mothers and their lawyers will have none of that, saying he has squandered a small fortune on luxuries like cars and jewelry. “I feel sorry for the guy, trust me,” Wellon said. “On the other hand, when you take those kind of actions, there are consequences. He could have taken care of the money.”

Henry argued that, within the context of richly paid athletes, he was not out of line. He contended that he owned no more than three vehicles at once and figured he had spent $250,000 on jewelry. “That ain’t a lot,” he said. Nevertheless, he was hoping to pawn some jewelry to pay off one of many debts and gain freedom.


What a sad story, one that has only one villain: Travis Henry. We can blame the folks in his life growing up in Florida, and we can blame the people at Tennessee that obviously did what they could to keep him eligible while probably ignoring so many things about his character. We can blame the Buffalo Bills who drafted him in the second round, paid him big money for the first time in his life. We can blame the Tennessee Titans and Denver Broncos who also paid him big money at various times.

Henry blames the golddiggers he allowed into his life and his bed for his problems.

But there is only one person to blame: Henry. Along the way, I can guarantee you he had a lot of opportunities where people tried to help him. He ignored those. Now, he wants to talk to young NFL players about how to avoid this type of situation? The NFL would be crazy to have him involved in any fashion.

I don’t know the eventual outcome of the drug trafficking charges that Henry now faces, but his only hope is that he’s forced to confront himself in a very small room, with bars on the doors and windows. Maybe then, he’ll understand that the problem with Travis Henry is Travis Henry.

From a piece by Jay Glazer on Pacman Jones:
I was chosen to host next month’s “Pros vs. Joes” largely because I’m somewhat out of my mind, but partly because of my ability to connect with athletes. But my bread is buttered as FOX Sports’ NFL Insider.

That job requires objectivity, but hey, I have preconceptions, too. I envisioned Pacman pissing me off at some point (I don’t have the longest fuse in the world) and me attempting to block the circulation of blood flow to his brain.

Instead, I came away hoping that the kid who seemed to “get it” in our few days together has turned the corner. He never once shied away and tried to say he did nothing wrong. To the contrary, he openly talked about how much he’s screwed up and how he relished the chance to change and prove he has changed. I don’t really know how I should feel about this.

“I got a little girl. I’m engaged now, so I have other things that interest me other than going to strip clubs, hanging out with 20 guys ’til four or five o’clock in the morning,” Jones said in an exclusive interview. “I want to play football and you can’t do those types of things with my lifestyle and all the controversy I’ve had.”


Read again the last line of the excerpt, the quote from Jones about him wanting to play football and his lifestyle and the controversy. Are we to suddenly believe that Pacman gets it? After everything that has happened does this hapless soul finally understand, or is it still somebody else’s fault? Glazer did this interview while filming this TV show and even talks about Pacman staging a fight to spice things up.

Pacman has been a great actor all his life. Glazer just fell for that acting ability.

But if Pac wants a place to play, read on.

From the San Francisco Chronicle: The list of failed challengers for the NFL’s monopoly on pro football audiences is long, but the organizers and coaches of the United Football League are convinced their model will be successful.

The UFL announced its plans Wednesday at a news conference at AT&T Park. Green will coach the San Francisco team; Fassel will coach the Las Vegas franchise; Haslett will coach Orlando and Cottrell – most recently the Chargers’ defensive coordinator – will coach the New York franchise.

UFL backers are convinced their business and game features – $20 tickets, hard caps on coaches’ and players’ salaries, a game ball with a GPS chip, a free spirit about end-zone celebrations and cameras televising fiery halftime speeches – will add up to a winning product.

And yes – a guy like Michael Vick is welcome to sign with the United Football League, commissioner Michael Huyghue said. But this doesn’t mean the UFL intends to be an outlaw outfit.


The UFL had a big press conference on Wednesday in San Francisco and there was very little national coverage of the event. As someone who has started a small business in the worst economy of the last 30 years (maybe 70 years), I can’t imagine why these guys think this thing will fly given the current financial conditions.

Listen, I’m all for competition for the NFL. Sometimes the league and its teams act like they invented the game and the whole idea of professional sports. It would be nice to see somebody really challenge them, whether it was for players, coaches or fan attention.

But given the way things are right now, I’ll be shocked if the first UFL Championship Game gets played in Las Vegas at Thanksgiving.

27 Responses to “Bottom of Bird Cage 3/12”

  • March 12, 2009  - Lukat Mapeenos says:

    Forget the UFL…I want Arena Football back!

  • March 12, 2009  - Alex K says:

    I just would like to extend the NFL season, but I know that it would kill records…maybe even an NFL farm system type of league with guys who are Practice squad trying to move on up to the NFL….I’d find that more interesting and be more excited about it since the NFL teams would have rights to certain players…

    This UFL Stuff just doesnt interest me, especially during the NFL season…my idea would be between feb-end of may to take up some time.

  • March 12, 2009  - Uncuffed says:

    If I had a UFL team where I live, I’d definitely go. Pay less for a seat and (probably) for beer and enjoy some live football? Heck yeah!

  • March 12, 2009  - SG says:

    Ed Budde…one of the best…

  • March 12, 2009  - anonymous says:

    Ed Budde was no Fred Arbanas!

  • March 12, 2009  - Jon says:

    woody’s “Because I couldn’t go for three.” quote is one of my favorite quotes of all time.

  • March 12, 2009  - Johnfromfairfax says:

    I think Joel Buschbaum didn’t really pass away, but instead went into hiding and has rejoined us as anonymous. Either that or Hunter S. Thompson has reincarnated while still on an anonymous high. I once sat next to Woody Hayes at a sports banquet where he was the keynote speaker. He gave a great presentation and stayed long after his speech and was absolutely charming to everyone around him and in attendance. Johnny Majors, “Jefferson Street” Joe Gilliam and other sports celebrities were at the banquet but Hayes was definitely the star of the night and made the evening memorable for all in attendance. He was one of those larger than life figures in his time.

  • March 12, 2009  - anonymous says:

    And now, it’s time for another ‘My Take’ with your anonymous host…’anonymous’

    Woody Hayes – Vince Lombardi – Norm Van Brocklin – Frank Kush – Bobby Knight – Bill Belichick and lastly, since he’s leastly – Checkpoint hailee.

    What can be said about the Junior Mr. Bill that a Cowboy, several Cardinals and immutable testimony the TV camera closeup has not afore assaulted our senses with, nee impinged on our righteous sense good sportsmanship, and heard muttered under off the record breaths?

    Just this – sans Checkpoint’s lack of substance whence compared to his aforementioned ‘sporting’ forefathers… don’t hold your breath this rank amateur, has neither great taste nor be filling.

    His epitaph to read: “yeah baby, you tried…”

    #71 Ed Budde – greatest offensive guard in KC Chiefs history, a bit better & longer lasting than Maurice “Mighty Mo” Moorman who in turn, was better than Waters or Shields/anyone else.

    So good he was named the AFL Player of the Week – not offensive lineman, player ANY – for his work against the Raiders in a 24-10 beating that was administered by Ed, Dawson, Arbanas & Company.

    Lenny threw only a handful of passes that day – naturally, Fred Arbanas latched onto one, Otis Taylor was injured as most all the rest the KC WRs so did not play.

    Fred Arbanas and Ed Budde’s blocking helped the Chiefs to almost 300 yards of rushing v “The 11 Angry Men” defense of the Raiders.

    Ed Budde: his Hall of Fame ommision be a crime, as the absence a Jim Tyrer and Johnny Robinson, Jerrell Wilson & Otis Taylor, at minimum. All those belong, as too should a Fred Arbanas long afore a gonzalez, the latter who played in the watered down parity era, of rule-aided offenses with QBs wearing pink dresses as Butkus said… rules harsh to defense & bonanza to offenses.

    Fred & Ed: simply ‘THE BEST’ in Chiefs history at their positions…you too Leonard, Otis, Jerrell, and Johnny.


  • March 12, 2009  - Devildog 1976 says:

    You are absolutely RIGHT anonymous Rintin, as always.
    The players of yesterday when everything was not yet diluted were smaller. The Average OL then could now be an average sized FB. But I shall not try to bout with you on the field of statistics of yesteryear. Fred was a good tight end in his day, and could probably hold his own even against today’s players. So we will have to make do with the hand we are dealt. I do like the points that you raise, it is very hard to understand most of the time though. So keep it coming I have already cancelled the comedy channel on my dish network.
    And remember it is ALL about the TEAM……….and

    THE RIGHT 53 2009

  • March 12, 2009  - tm1946 says:

    Rin all those guys were part of Chiefs finest, especially at their position. But the best of the best was Bobby Bell. He could and did do it all and always at the highest level.

    Rin/anon. why not publish what bs you are putting in the Star. “Chiefs will cut Cassel” With all your knowledge of the game bring it here so we can really laugh at you and not with you.

  • March 12, 2009  - Johnfromfairfax says:

    I too will give you your due Rinanonymous. You know your Chiefs and football. Time will tell the tale of Haley’s time as leader of Chief’s Nation but he’s cut closer to his brethren from years gone by than many coaching presently. Shine on you crazy diamond.

  • March 12, 2009  - Devildog 1976 says:

    My brothers have spoken, and thy speak the truth.
    It is ALL about the TEAM…………….. and …
    THE RIGHT 53 2009

  • March 12, 2009  - byzkit says:

    Why do you guys even acknowledge rin/anonymous? I mean really he’s like Nostradomus. You throw enough crazy out there you’re bound to be right every once in awhile. Oh and if ya ask him I’m sure its 10:45 pm and I’m sure he’ll still tell ya Herm’s the man.

  • March 12, 2009  - Devildog 1976 says:

    time check
    2254 and ALL is well because TODD HAILEY is the MAN.
    It is ALL about the TEAM……………….and
    THE RIGHT 53 2009

  • March 12, 2009  - JT says:

    yeah I’d like 2 see some KC Brigade football sometime! Forget the UFL!!!

  • March 13, 2009  - anonymous says:

    “You are absolutely RIGHT anonymous Rintin, as always.”

    - no surprise that…

    “The players of yesterday when everything was not yet diluted were smaller.”

    - and yet the bigger, stronger, faster teams ALL three of them LOST the 1st, 2nd & 3rd Superbowls – twas not until Superbowl IV that the ‘bigger, stronger, faster’ team – the Chiefs – won.

    “The Average OL then could now be an average sized FB.”

    - your lack of edification proceeds you – suggest you avail yourself of copious doses fiber. The KC Chiefs 1966 offensive line – specific & averaged, listed, actual, career high:

    LT Tyrer 292 listed, 295 actually/316 highest wt.
    LG Budde 260 listed, 273 actually/279 highest wt.
    C Frazier 245 listed, 247 actually/250 highest wt.
    RG Merz 267 listed, 269 actually/ 271 highest wt.
    RT Hill 265 listed, 279 actually/302 highest wt.

    Average of 272.6 lbs actual, 283.6 career high. Now, name for us ‘ALL’ those average sized NFL fullbacks circa 2009…or even one that weighs 273 or 284. (Of note, 1966 Chiefs FB McClinton listed 227, actual weight 232, highest 236.)

    That was 43 years ago…Pinocchio.

    “But I shall not try to bout with you on the field of statistics of yesteryear.”

    - discretion yours being the better part of valor as you cower, Bill . . . verily anonymous wouldst mortally wound you, beyond question.

    “I do like the points that you raise, it is very hard to understand most of the time though.”

    - self-indictment nee grim realization yours…

    “I have already cancelled the comedy channel on my dish network.”

    - not so much a matter economics yours, more so tis hard to laugh when your spleen be broken…


  • March 13, 2009  - anonymous says:

    Surely you all jest, nee joke! I am no expert on the Chiefs or football, neither. I am but only an expert on how to make love to horses and how to wash my mother’s unmentionables by hand. I do, but on humble knee, thank you all for kind words, but after all, I am but an idiot.

    Herm Edwards is MY man!

  • March 13, 2009  - Devildog 1976 says:

    time check 0937
    You are almost as funny as my little friend cupcake, you are both quite hilarious. So I will get some info together and then post it. Until then please take your meds, and no more posting until they take effect.
    It is all about the TEAM ……………….and
    THE RIGHT 53 2009

  • March 13, 2009  - Devildog 1976 says:

    We might as well call you what you are.
    So far the smallest of the FB are 230lbs…….
    However the largest one listed By the Det. Lions is Jon Bradley @ 6’1″ and 310lbs. I will finish this when I get home from work.
    It is ALL about the TEAM ….. and ………….
    THE RIGHT 53 2009

  • March 13, 2009  - anonymous says:

    Obfuscation becomes you as none other…but leaves you as ever, errant.

    The pleaded statement of fact – yours – was “The Average OL then could now be an average sized FB.”

    Still waiting for your proof…you cite only two players, an exception of 310 which be unique as OT Sherman Plunkett of the 60′s NY Jets; listed (conservatively) at 322 but usually more in the neighborhood of 350-355, 354 he told me himself on one occasion whence we spoke.

    Best you can muster is a 270 average to ‘actual’ 273 mine. Too, whereas anonymous be using sample size of but 5, you use one of only 2…my sample size trumps yours – as I you, daily. Upshot? You have proven yourself wrong 7 anonymous correct. Thank you.

    Some players are bumped ‘up’ by teams on rosters and others ‘down.’Players are super-sized as was attendance once upon a time, for appearance sake nee impact.

    As accuracy and integrity be the Hallmark my tack for purposes disclosure I use weights that as one can see do not match the listed roster givens as by virtue of anonymous own relationship with the Chiefs circa the mid to late 1960′s I happen to know what the weights “actually” were thence; I know this because of my father’s friendship with Hank Stram/others as well my own with said.

    The upshot is clear … inference yours that the players back ‘then’ were smaller/so much so that a FB today would be (you infer) heavier & better by implication is found to be unsubstantiated.

    OT Sherman Plunkett was but one player example I mentioned earlier…there are many others. KC DT Ed Lothamer listed 245 as a rookie in ’64, 1966 – 67 listed 265/270. Actual weight his thence? 297, give or take as with any player.

    Naturally, weights can go up or down – in small increments usually- but the gist is clear: your original plea is been proven wrong whether by an ounce, a bushel or a ton.

    Otis Taylor was ‘listed’ variously from 6’2- 6’4, 211 to 220 lbs. Most usually, he was listed 6’3 215. Otis told me he used to play at 227 lbs.

    Sherrill Headrick listed as much as 240…he told me he played at 215-220.

    DE/LB Bobby Bell was usually listed at 6’4 228 – fact is he played at as low a weight as 210 lbs. KR/WR Noland ‘Supergnat’ Smith ‘listed’ 5’8 163 lbs. as a rookie. That he was actually 5’6 1/4 154 lbs. or so was the non fiction fact.

    Baseball: pitchers are throwing NO harder today than they were in the early 1900′s – there are MORE players who can throw harder just as there are more players PLAYING as befits a far larger POPULATION – but evolution is no guarantee or has no mandate to ‘improve things’ – of this I wrote as “Progress to Decline” in college thesis mine of some (inaudible) years ago. Ted Kaczynski was not far from the truth…though his methods were madness at worst, misdirected at best.

    Baseball – The hardest throwers today throw no harder than those of some 100 years ago… the evidence is available for anyone who wants to do some research…don’t ask me to do the homework for you, you need the stimulation of something other than the contemplation your navel fuzz.

    But a few reknowned 100 mph fastball types (both with steroids & without) of more recent vintage:

    Ryan…Wohlers…Zumaya…bigger, stronger AND faster? No.

    Little 165/170 lb. P Pedro Martinez was in the vicinity when he was younger. Fastest I know of was Steve Dalkowski who threw 105-115 mph late 1950′s/mid 60′s (Ted Williams said “he’s the fastest I’ve ever seen”…Earl Weaver stated :he was A LOT FASTER than Nolan Ryan.”

    By now whether football, baseball or other, via evolution one would believe 125-150 even should be close to ‘average’ if we accept the later day world & players are getting weightier/better all the time, which you fixate on in your plea. Not by any consensus or by fallen records across the board be it so. Physics and the like in play the human arm can only accomplish so much regardless of era, afore it snaps/falls off, for example.

    Bigger, stronger, faster teams do NOT always win, as Superbowls I-III affirmed … many of the most hallowed records in sport still stand despite the heavier and by inference yours better players. Why?If bigger nee heavier is better, Jamarcus Riussell and Jared Lorenzen wouldst be HOF NFL QBs…any day now, probably.

    Some 44 years after he departed no one has topped Jim Brown’s per yard carry average for the large sample size nee carries and years he played.

    Joe DiMaggio’s 56 straight and Ted Williams .400+ average still dominate.

    Wilt Chamberlain’s 100 pts. in a game be still sacrosanct.

    Little 6’0 190 (or low as 178 Superbowl IV) Len Dawson still holds the pro football record most consecutive seasons leading in completion %, 6. That was as KC Chiefs fans know almost 40 years ago…so much for all the over-hyped Montana’s, Elway’s, Marino’s, Mannings & the like who even with the advent rules changes to boost offenses and limit defenses, fail to match Lenny D. All heavier, bigger, stronger, yadda, yadda, yadda.

    So much for the better, larger, modern players.

    Yesteryear rules, as ever willst!


  • March 13, 2009  - anonymous says:

    …similar to how I rule the rear-ends of horses the world over!

  • March 13, 2009  - Devildog 1976 says:

    AnonymousRintintinWell as I stated I did have to go to work, my money tree died. I looke over all of the active rosters and as of my last post @ 1045 today the following information is correct. There are 25 players listed as FB in the AFC, two teams do not carry a FB, NE, and Indi. Two teams list three, Den. and Oak.Total combine wt is 6,213, lowest is 233, heaviest is 264, and the average is 248.52.

  • March 13, 2009  - Devildog 1976 says:

    the listing for the NFC are a little different.
    There are 28 players listed as FB, None of the teams are without a FB. Their total combine wt is 7,037, lowest is 230, heaviest is 310, and the average is 251.32. Jon Bradley is listed as the FB @ 310 for the Lions.
    Now here is where it gets interesting because my favorite number is about to be a part of this equation. the total wt of all of the FB listed on active rosters as of 1045 today is 13,250. we divide that number by the total of all FB listed 53 and we get 250 lbs. I love that number 53. Oh yea and then when we figure in their wt. at birth which on avg. is 10.5 lbs. So then we multiply the 10.5 by 53 and we get 556.5 lbs. Now we add that too the 13,250 and we get 13,806.5 and then we divide that by the best number 53 and we get 260.5 average. Which means that yes today’s FB could have played OL in the yesteryears that you dwell in. So put that in your pipe and smoke it instead of the ditch weed you smoke.

  • March 13, 2009  - Devildog 1976 says:

    Oh I almost forgot!!
    It is all about the TEAM…..and…………….
    THE RIGHT 53 2009

  • March 13, 2009  - Devildog 1976 says:

    time check 2221
    It is all about the TEAM………and …………
    THE RIGHT 53 2009

  • March 14, 2009  - anonymous says:

    Devildog1976 says:


    - yes, what is it now Shoeshine boy?


    - go ahead, you’ve already embarrassed yourself completely with your utter lack of the requiste esprit, any insight & too no deodorant.

    “I did have to go to work”

    - Ronald was busy getting a new tint of orange to his hair & you were the closest thing?

    “my money tree died.”

    - so they laid you off…who will ask the patrons regards super-sizing?

    “I looke over all of the active rosters and…”

    - yes? ((drum roll – here’s his big moment, nee his crash back down to earth fromst that tricky first step up from the curb to whence he’s been kicked ad nauseam ad infinitum by ‘anonymous’ – hold your breath everyone…heh heh heh.))

    “as of my last post”

    - promises promises…

    “the average is 248.52″

    - and NOT 273 nor the more accurate even 284 lbs. that the AVERAGE offensive lineman of 43 years ago was, this case the KC Chiefs. Maybe you could try another year…go ahead, I’ll wait.


    “the listing for the NFC are a little different.”

    - both NFL & AFC spell “Y-O-U W-E-R-E W-R-O-N-G” but humor us, and do tell us your results again, won’t you?

    “260.5 average.”

    - exactly…and affirming you were, are & shall e’er remain…wrong. Do you also do windows and dust?

    “Which means that yes today’s FB could have played OL in the yesteryears”

    - Cue Three Dog Night: ‘LIAR! LIAR-LIAR!”

    Your original statement of believed fact (yours alone) was, & I quote (this is SO much fun! heh heh heh)

    It was nee you said: “The Average OL then could now be an average sized FB.” So as I proved and you affirmed, today’s average FB could NOT have played on the offensive line back ‘then’, using my sample KC Chiefs and yours wherever you pulled it out of (it’s surely already overly crowded in their what with your head, shoulders, etc. in the way.) Too, I suspect your weighty numbers- which fail regardless – might need a certified public accountant to verify them at any as the provider be you…your smell precedes you.

    Now back to our final tally then & now, average size ‘then’ 273 conservatively & 284 accurately – your average ‘now’ be short for both the AFC 249 and NFC 261, that’s with I anonymous rounding up to try & assist you…no luck.

    So then:

    273 > 261 … 273 > 249
    284 > 261 … 284 > 249


    “that you”

    - tis, yo’ daddy is here.


    - don’t dwell on defeat – you should be used to it by now.


    - sane? Probably. but do the best you can despite yourself.


    - apathy becomes you…not.

    “put that in your pipe and smoke it”

    - I don’t smoke…I destroy lies.

    “instead of the”

    - truth which you fail to do the same to.

    “ditch weed”

    - horse feathers…

    “you smoke”

    - no, we already covered…try paying attention snapperhead. We suggest you avail yourself of a ‘Miracle Ear’, orbital spectacles to match the oned you make of yourself daily- or is that the monkey I anonymous make of you daily, and…do try me again, won’t you?

    Here’s some salve & burn ointment…heh heh heh


  • March 16, 2009  - anonymous says:

    Oh, and I almost forgot to mention, nee, tell you in passing, I like to molest horses.

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