Mirror Images: L.J. And His Future

I have no problems with complaints. The ability to gripe is engraved in our nature; it’s basic, it’s necessary and it constitutes one of our most important rights.

Of course, Larry Johnson took it one step too far.

In the aftermath of the Chiefs’ disastrous loss to the Chargers this past Sunday, Johnson could not take it anymore and vented his frustrations in a freewheeling rant that could be traced to Twitter (I’ll spare you the details, ’cause you already know them). Certainly, the timing was odd. Just the week before, Johnson had delivered his best performance of the calendar; and if you take into consideration that he entered the season walking a zero-tolerance tightrope that permitted him to be a part of this team in the very first place, it made absolutely no sense for him to go-off in such an apparent careless way.

After I learned the generals of the matter, I must confess that curiosity rose up and my conspirator side proceeded to suggest that this may have been a plot to get out of Kansas City. And you know what? That could very well be a strong possibility. But not with the purpose that you think.

To me, Larry Johnson has been a very difficult player to follow.

He has amazed me with his ability to inflict punishment on would-be tacklers and he has disappointed me with his constant failures trying to execute a block. I trust the assertion that he’s spent extra time signing autographs for his younger followers, but I could not look away when it was reported that he had offended a woman; he’s within earshot of being called the Chiefs’ all-time leading rusher and yet, he remains the only player that I have ever heard Dick Vermeil call out in public; given that Coach Vermeil was notorious for defending his players to death, that was definitely an eyebrow-raiser. He seems to run with anger, but absolutely no one can tell you for sure what the source for such fury is. Just like Bob pointed out, he’s an enigma. Only that -although immersed in his own particularity, well, he’s not that different.

Travelling the road to maturity is a very strange, and therefore, unique experience. It’s not a matter of choice. Everybody has to embark on it and the arrival to the proverbial ripeness depends on various circumstances that are determined by the cards that are dealt to each individual. There’s always one particular instance that will challenge a human at his very core, causing him to react in a way that will ultimately define his character, either for good or for bad. Unfortunately, there’s no timetable. It just happens.

Fitting like a glove, a road-analogy could not work without bumps included in it. They’re not liked or welcomed but they’re unavoidable. Their mission is to stop the progress in order to test the resolve of a person; and again, that’s just part of the deal of growing up.

However, some bumps leave marks that are hard to repair; and the last three weeks have shown me beyond my comprehension.

Andre Agassi (left) was an equally accomplished tennis player. He is a former World No. 1 professional player; he won eight Grand Slam singles tournaments, becoming just the fifth to achieve a career Grand Slam; he won an Olympic gold medal in singles in 1996 and to top it off, he married Brooke Shields and Steffi Graf. But the main reason for which he’s relevant these days has nothing to do with that as well.

From the time I started watching tennis in ‘91, Agassi always came across like a rebellious fellow. His game would feature a brazenness that would evolve into a cockiness that would degenerate into a defiance that would undoubtedly led him to do that famous “Image Is Everything” commercial that I saw repeatedly on TV. The announcers called it “boldness.” I abided with that notion and rolled with it until one day I noticed that something was indeed different. Suddenly, his appearance changed radically and his game did as well. Somehow, I perceived a calmness about him that stood until the day that he retired. Turns out, I did know nothing about him either.

Theo Fleury (right) was an accomplished hockey player. He played over 1,000 games in the National Hockey League and scored more than 1,000 points over the course of his NHL career; he was part of the improbable Calgary Flames team that won the 1989 Stanley Cup and was a member of the Canadian team that won the gold medal at the 2002 Olympic Winter Games. But the main reason for which he’s relevant these days has nothing to do with that.

From the time I started watching hockey in ‘93, Fleury always came across like an uneasy fellow. His game would feature an edginess that would evolve into a cockiness that would degenerate into a nastiness that would undoubtedly led him straight to the penalty-box on those occasions when I was able to watch the Flames on TV. The announcers called it “feistiness”. I abided with that notion and rolled with it until the day he retired. Turns out, I did know nothing about him.

Nowadays, Fleury and Agassi are sharing the spotlight because they have one thing in common that binds them in time and essence: they have cleaned their closets. Separated by 19 days, major passages were revealed about the lives of Fleury and Agassi that may not have changed our perceptions of them, but at least made us get more complete pictures of the men beyond the games.

Fleury acknowledged candidly his drug and alcohol addictions; Agassi confessed crystal meth use at the pivotal point of his career; Fleury blamed his struggles on the junior hockey coach that sexually abused him; Agassi almost unmistakably pins his vicissitudes on the father that pushed him relentlessly; Fleury became an aggressor and Agassi epitomized the dissenter. The parallels are strikingly similar.

Fleury had a chance to denounce the abuse he was suffering but chose not to; when he was busted for drug use, Agassi had an opportunity to admit his transgression but denied any wrongdoing. Outsiders are mad because they didn’t come forward all these years. It’s nothing but human nature; we can’t stand lies unless we are the ones that elaborate them, and in their cases, they felt the need to lie throughout the seasons because that’s the most basic form of self-preservation. That’s what protected them. And if you ask why one more time, a closer look at the boyish looks in both Fleury and Agassi’s faces will tell you most of the story: they never stopped being children.

When pressed beyond his tolerance limit, a child will avoid any kind of accountability; if he’s not comfortable, a child will hide the truth; if he’s not trustful, a child will lie. I know it because I’ve been there. Fleury and Agassi suffered conditions that halted their “normal” developments and that eventually caused them to touch rock bottom. They looked for outlets and they settled on those (anger for Fleury; appearance for Agassi) that did the trick for them. They knew that one day honesty would come out. In hindsight, they were just buying time.

For what? To gather themselves for that long look at the mirror.

Before they got to where they are now, Fleury and Agassi grew tired of where they were stranded ‘because they found a reason to move; they must’ve found something to which they could attach never-ending compromise to. That’s the first step in being a grown-up. One day they woke up and could not stand the image that was reflected back to them. They had attained many accolades but they had not conquered their spirits. That comes with humbleness.

They’ve asked for mercy by letting everything in the open and that will be enough to receive sympathy, ’cause once again, that’s human nature. It doesn’t surprise me one bit that they’re able to pull it off because in spite of all of their tribulations, they managed to perform admirably at the highest level; and our work speaks for us. Agassi arrived at salvation a little earlier than Fleury, but the latter doesn’t care; he’s just happy to be there. They’re both finally capable of contributing to society in an even more relevant stratosphere because they’re armed with a clean bill of health that has entitled them to go forward. They will inspire people beyond their athletic talent, in a much deeper level. That’s all that matters.

Clearly, Larry Johnson is not there. By no means will I pretend to be a mentor, an advisor, or the second coming of Sigmund Freud, but I can only see a pattern in Larry Johnson’s behavior that is similar to what I saw in Agassi and Fleury. I don’t know if he’s covering something up; I don’t know if he has issues more complex than those that show; and I don’t know if he’s just plain angry. What I do know is that he is not “old-school”; he’s human, and I’m worried about him. It has nothing to do with the football player because I can very well survive with one less running back in my life; what I’m talking about is the big picture. We can’t get enough good people running around our lives.

The trail is probably going to get tougher for Johnson; he’ll probably be gone at the end of the year if not sooner. Given the red-flags raised all around the NFL, it will become really difficult for him to locate another team that is willing to find out that he has developed cutback moves to go along with his north-and-south style.

Maybe it’s necessary for him to tumble. Maybe a fall from grace will represent the growing pains. Maybe that’s why he wants out. No one could tell for sure that if Jared Allen had stayed and Johnson had left instead, Allen would be sulking and Johnson would be thriving; speculation is the capital of a territory that’s far from reality.

Whatever the case, even if he goes on to another district, I’ll keep an eye on him, waiting for him to do well because his boyish looks and his soft-spokenness lead me to believe that’s there’s a good young man inside his 6-1 frame that’s worth fighting for. Interestingly, at his lowest point, I have found myself rooting for him even more than when he was piling up 150-plus yard games on a consistent basis. For the last time, that’s the beauty of the human nature.

For all of you Chiefs’ fans, just remember to not take it personal. At the end of the day the most interested person to make ends meet in Larry Johnson’s life is Larry Johnson himself. One day, he’ll take that long look at the mirror; and on the next, he’ll speak straight from the heart, and not just tweet. It will take time, but everybody will wait patiently to listen carefully and mercifully to whatever he has to say.

It’s just how it works.